TO A PRETTY AVERAGE FATHER

by Stuart McLean

105x85mm • 128pp • £2.99 • paperback • ISBN 978-1-906051-14-3 • June 2008

Contents
Introduction
Fascinating facts about fathers
Father's day trivia
The average dad's dictionary
The difference between an awesome and an average dad
Quotations
Worst birthday presents a father can give
Embarrassing things dad says to your first boyfriend
Embarrassing things dad says to your first girlfriend
A father's most irritating moans
Are you a great father?
You know you're a rotten father if . . .
Things my father taught me . . .
An average dad would never say . . .
The five worst fathers of all
time (allegedly!!)
Fatherly jokes
Epitaphs to dad
Epilogue

There are 800,000,042 fathers in the world. Some are naturally amazing - they can procreate at will, spawning dozens of healthy, joyful children. They devote all their time and love to their offspring, giving them security, wisdom, wealth and happiness. Other fathers, sadly, are despicably bad, giving their children nothing but a legacy of pain and sorrow.

However, the vast majority of fathers are irrefutably average. In fact, applying Gaussian distribution principles of mathematical parenting, 793,856,001 fathers are shown to be in this category.

This book is a celebration of the average dad, dedicated to all those amazing, stupendous, incredible, funny, fantastic, electrifying, awesome, intelligent, magnificent, fascinating, courageous, outstanding and astonishing but otherwise pretty damn average fathers in the world. The average dad may not always know the best thing to do. He may not always know the right thing to say. And he may even, occasionally, prefer to watch football than to push a pram around the park. But he is special - in his very own average sort of way.